My Relationship with Chicken Little

It happens sometimes. Inevitably it will come in the night as I lie in the dark wrapped in my blankets, cocooned in the shadows of my bedroom, listening to the deep, even breaths of my husband next to me, the rare car going by on the road outside, or the familiar creaks of my house. Its, the WORRY. And it doesn't have to be any particular, specific worry, mind you. It can be any of a host of them.... from money, to health, to relationships, to the all too familiar worry of child-raising. Even worry about some of my own goals that I would still like to achieve. Goals, that as a mother, you all too often set aside for a time, to make room for your families more pressing needs.


The worry will creep its way in, form a nice solid lump in my throat and leave me wide awake for a few hours before my exhausted mind is finally able to shake it off enough to drift into some semblance of a rest. And why? By all accounts, I lead a perfectly blessed life with much to be thankful for, and I closed out 2009 thinking essentially that. And perhaps that is precisely why in the small hours of the night I get these occasional worry attacks ..... because I am waiting for the "bottom to fall out." I look around at what some families, some people go through and frankly, I harbor almost a sense of guilt for our stability and security. Ultimately our biggest worry always comes down to a loved one being harmed or getting sick, doesn't it? And it takes on a whole new level as a parent.... the worry could swallow you whole if you let it. It makes me pray all the harder for the continued health and happiness of those I love as if I might have a time limit on my luck. Ridiculous, I know, but I come from a long line of worriers, and at times I think I could raise it to an art form.

Of course, common sense (usually) prevails, and I recognize my worry won't really get me anywhere (other then to drive me a little crazy). Plus, walking through life like your own personal version of "Chicken Little" waiting for the sky to fall is no way to live either. So, I do my best to stifle that worry gene of mine, swallow my "Chicken Little" moments and remember that with every new year comes new possibilities for relationships, goals, and the myriad of other tasks we all set for ourselves. So, lets see what 2010 brings.