Faith

Faith - Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.

It is raining today. Big, fat slow drops that trail down the windows, causing my fat cat, Nib to bat at them with his paws as he sits on the windowsill. It has been a cool spring for us, and I am anxious for the warmer days, to put on my sandals, open my car window and feel the breeze blow my hair. Yesterday, leaving the playground early due to the chilly south wind off of lake Michigan, Isabelle looked into the cloud-filled sky and proclaimed, "Now the sun will never come out!" I replied that sooner or later it would come out and sooner or later it would warm up, even in the U.P. I have faith. (But today I am still in my sweatshirt and sipping hot chocolate).

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I stayed up last night watching the Red Wings lose 2-1 in Game Three in Round 2 of the NHL playoffs against the Anaheim Ducks. With about 1:04 left in the game Marion Hossa tapped in the tying goal making it 2-2, only to have the referee, Brad Watson wave it off and call no goal. Why? Well, to put it simply, Mr. Watson was out of position and lost sight of the puck so he whistled the play dead, guessing the puck was under Jonas Hiller, the Duck goalie. Never mind, the fact, that more then half the arena plus the replay easily showed the puck in plain view the entire time. According to the rules it is a non-reviewable play, so the tying goal was waved off, overtime never happened, and the Ducks won to go up 2-1 in the series, throwing thousands of fans, Wings and Ducks alike, into a frenzy. I was disappointed to say the least. Railing at the hockey Gods? You bet. But I have faith. Faith that in the end my Red Wings will ultimately prevail. (It might help though if the league and Bettman and the refs could call a consistent game and have some rules that made sense, like any play involving a goal be reviewable on replay!).

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Then there are the world events these days. So much in the news is negative and difficult to absorb. I feel bombarded with tales of the slumping economy, lost jobs, skyrocketing health care, global warming, the sad state of the housing market and the auto industry. It is as if the news media is doing its best to try and put us all on medication for depression with such a steady diet of only bad news. And, of course, there is now the dreaded H1N1 virus or swine flu to talk about as well. Here is the amazing thing though: Despite all the talking heads on television telling me how bad the state of the world is right now, in my heart of hearts I know we will be okay. Some might call me foolish or naive and these days it seems almost unpopular to be patriotic, but I still honestly believe this is a great country and that at the end of the day we will see ourselves through this mess. I have faith. (Again, it might help if the masses could use a little common sense and quite frankly get out of their own way).

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And there is my family, my marriage. As evidenced by this blog, it doesn't run like clockwork and it is not perfect. In fact, the two people that live under this roof with me have the ability to make me more frustrated then any other two people on the entire planet. I fantasize about maxing out a credit card and buying a one way ticket to Hawaii and parking myself on Waimea beach on the North Shore of Oahu (or perhaps a more secluded beach on Maui, yeah), selling homemade jewelry (not that I have a clue how to make any) and eating Opa (best fish ever) until I am stuffed. Being single, alone, with no responsibilities to anyone, but myself. Those fantasies arise inevitably after a day of Isabelle whining non-stop and Clay coming home from a long day of work, which culminates in us both snapping at each other, essentially competing to see who had the harder day. Dumb. But I always have faith. Faith that even when he and I are truly angry at one another, that our marriage is not going to fall apart, for it is made of stronger stuff. Faith that our love will bring it right back around... and it always does.

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Some of you might ask where is God for me in all of this faith, and I would say that by now that should be fairly obvious. He is at the center of it, from the simple and mundane, to the weighty and important. Perhaps that is why I do not necessarily feel the need to be sitting in a church pew every Sunday. My belief, my faith doesn't come from an organized religion. It simply comes from within.