Painful Reminder

I had been lulled into a false sense of security and why wouldn't I be? I mean seriously, it had been what? Six, seven months? Maybe even more. But when I woke up in the absolute still of the night last week, I had one split second of peace before the beast wrapped himself around my skull and reminded me of the pain of a truly severe migraine. Of course, the bodily functions that awoke me in the first place would not be denied, so I still had to move, regardless, and eventually I just "commando belly-crawled" to the bathroom and back. Oddly, despite feeling nauseous I rarely vomit during my migraines. For me I just wish for complete blackness, as little movement as possible, and for the love of all that is good and holy.... silence. Thus, nighttime is a pretty good time to have a migraine, if you are forced to have one. I eventually fell asleep, after crying for a while and praying it would be gone by morning.

It wasn't. Damn. I told Clay to go to work anyways (Yeah, I know, but what was he really going to do) and I figured I could just collapse on the couch for a few hours and get through the worst of it while Isabelle watched some cartoons, and she is a pretty good kid when it comes to people not feeling well. She is very solicitous and wants to help and is mostly offended if you turn down her aid. Being quiet is more of a challenge for her, but after getting her settled with some breakfast she did fairly well. By lunch I had my head to a manageable level... what I would call a severe headache. In other words it hurt a lot but I could walk around and keep my eyes open without feeling like my skull would split in half, so I could function. After a shower and a little food, Isabelle and I managed to piece together a decent afternoon, although I am sure I resembled something more along the lines of road kill (or maybe that is just how I felt).

All in all the next day was better with the typical after effects of my head feeling like scrambled eggs but not hurting and me once again remembering why, in fact, I take that little pill everyday that costs so much out of our insurance. The truth is that the last several months have been so blissfully pain free I sometimes have found myself wondering if I should talk to my doctor and try to wean myself off the Topomax. I am not one to just stay on a drug and you cannot help but find yourself thinking (Do I need it? I am not getting any headaches. Well, let me rephrase that, not any BAD headaches) but then again the drug is doing precisely what it is supposed to ... help prevent them. And in my case, almost completely.

So, I guess last week showed me that the beast is still lurking within the confines of my head after all and that even with my magic pill, he occasionally is going to make an appearance. But one migraine every six-eight months compared to what I was dealing with before? THAT I can live with!