Mama Said There Would Be Days Like This

Sometimes I think God must be up there in heaven just laughing his "you know what" off at my expense, as he watches me try to negotiate this path called motherhood. I recall begging, pleading, praying, and practically offering to sell my soul, if I could just have a child during those couple of years of trying and failing with pregnancies. So, it seems to me it must have been humorous to the big guy to be able to give us our most-spirited Isabelle and say, "You want a child so bad? Here you go! Let's see what you got!"


Not that my child is like the Devil Incarnate or something because such is not the case (and do not misundersatnd me, I would not trade her for any amount of money!) but she is definitely a kid we could all classify as .... more in the "challenging" category of child-rearing. (Either that or I truly am completely an idiot mother, perhaps a topic for another post, as on many days I feel like one). Ironically, most of the personality-traits that are driving me absolutely insane at the moment (stubbornness, strong-will, assertiveness,) will be assets as an adult. The problem lies in that they need to be paired with self-control and respect. And why is it, can please anyone tell me, that a child who has never been given anything EVER when she whines STILL continues to whine when she wants something, needs something, doesn't get her way, or in general is just not happy? Whining has not worked for five years! Does she think that now, suddenly in the midst of the fifth, I might finally break?!


But this is the life and the two sides of my five year old right now for better or worse. Example One: My darling daughter threw a mad, full-on tantrum over (wait for it) what sandals she could or could not wear on a bike ride through the neighborhood. (In case you are wondering a full tantrum these days consists of yelling, stomping feet, screaming, and lots of general unhappiness). However, pair this with the same child, who in the store shopping is a perfect angel, helping put groceries in the cart, smiling at customers, even telling one lady that she "liked her shirt" and wished they "made that shirt in kid size." As we walk away from the same woman, she whispers to me (rather loudly so the woman overhears), "Mommy, wasn't she pretty?" I answer in the affirmative, and as I turn out of the aisle, catch a glimpse of the woman grinning from ear to ear, and I know that Isabelle has just made her day.


Example Two: Isabelle has a rather explosive tantrum over putting on a new four-wheeler helmet (in front of all four grandparents, no less, and do not lose it people; the helmet is for riding WITH an adult on the four-wheeler) after which I am left questioning my parental skills. Picture red-face screaming hysterics like I am scarring the child for life because I asked her to try on a helmet and protect her skull from harm. Yet, ten minutes later she puts the helmet on of her own volition, and it is all okay. (Mind you, she NEVER would have put that helmet on if I had not forced the issue to begin with.... I have been down this road many times with my daughter. Even though I am certain I looked like some kind of evil Nazi dictator at the time!) A day later she suddenly decides it looks cool and is decorating it with her stickers. But again, pair this evil behavior with the same child, who on her field trip to Public Safety, was the only child in her class totally not shy around the police and fire fighters and according to her teachers said to one of the officers, "Thanks for keeping our world safe," and shook the officer's hand.


Yes, there you have it. On one hand, you have the tantrum-throwing, temper-flaring, cannot be reasoned with, near out of control child, who at times acts more like she is three rather then five. On the other, you have a well-spoken, polite and incredibly helpful and thoughtful child who seems to be every bit the five year old. If I did not know better I would say I had two identical twin girls or that I was in some weird version of the "Twilight Zone," but I digress.


So, what do I honestly take from Isabelle's extreme mood swings? That she is a schizophrenic? Possibly (ha, ha), but more likely she is just five, and while I am alternating between pride and exasperation, joy and frustration, laughter and tears at her antics, I try to remind myself, she too, is negotiating through her own still developing emotions, and they are a lot to handle. And part of my job is to teach her how to handle them. So, I ask God to swallow his chuckles as I fumble my way through this and grant me PATIENCE and GUIDANCE and perhaps still even more patience. Isabelle and I will both survive her childhood (I just might be in a padded room when all is said and done!).

Isabelle's Party

While it may seem like it, I did not fall off the face of the earth (though it seems I am not alone in neglecting my blog, as many of my favorites have also not been updated in many weeks). No, true to form, summer mode has arrived and as I settle in, I find it difficult to spare a moment long enough to write or when I do I would quite frankly, rather be outside then on the computer. I suppose I need to revert back to carrying my journal around once more and use good old pen and paper.

Regardless, life found me last weekend hosting my first ever kids' birthday party as Isabelle officially turned five. Picture eight children invading my house in a flower/garden party theme, numerous adults, an abundance of food and gifts, and you get the idea. The weather was less then ideal but did manage to not rain us out. Therefore, we still did do our watering can game and our bug hunt outside, but we were forced to pot the marigolds I got for each child in the garage when it decided to start misting a light rain. Of course, in my mind I envisioned a sunny, glorious day with adults in lawn chairs and the kids spread out on a blanket while Isabelle opened her presents .... reality was them crammed into my too small upstairs living room. However, the flower cupcakes my mother made were adorable, the kids all seemed to have a great time and enjoyed getting to keep the watering cans, buckets, marigolds and bugs from the games they played, and despite the crazy stressing I put myself through, it all came out fine in the end.

When I tucked one exhausted daughter into bed that night she told me that she wished she could have a party just like that every day. Earlier, while zooming around on her new scooter from Grandma and Grandpa, she informed Clay that it was the "best day ever." So, I guess that sums it up for me right there. It was all worth it. After all, they are only little for so long and while some of this party craziness may seem like a hassle, it will not be long when I will be looking back on this fifth birthday with very fond memories.