In an alternate universe I am some music groupie, chasing my favorite rock band across the country from concert to concert. I drive a jeep wrangler with my dog riding shotgun and spend my evenings dancing to a band like Three Doors Down or Five for Fighting. Of course, money is no worry as I either have some huge inheritance or get odd jobs along the way to pay for gas and food. You know, like all the people on tv shows, who live outrageously while never working a day in their lives. Yup, that is me.... maybe I even have a tattoo.
In this universe though I am a stay at home mom, own two cats, live in a small town in a nice neighborhood, and I am sure (by most people's standards) live a quiet, uneventful life. My daughter, Isabelle, is two years old and pretty much runs my day to day. And of course, no tattoos.... my husband would kill me! (and I cannot imagine ever liking something enough to permanently affix it to my body anyways).
Yeah, the truth of the matter is that you cannot escape your DNA. While I love my little alternate universe and periodically fantasize about being someone compeletely different (mind you that rocker version of me does actually exist in a small form inside my conservative self), I am truly who I am meant to be. When I first started college, I had this idea that I was going to shake things up a bit and be more social, more outgoing and not focus so much on grades (yes, I was the classic bookish, slightly nerdish one in high school). Well, for the first semester I met lots of people and had fun and did not study as much as I probably could have. Then the grades came in, and I discovered that I had earned all B's and one A. I remember being pissed off. Granted most of the people I was hanging with thought that was great and would have killed for those grades. Especially since most of them flunked out and did not return for my sophomore year. Yet, I was ticked because I knew those grades were not reflective of my intelligence. I couldn't be relaxed about school because that just wasn't me. Just like I never drank a drop of alcohol until I was 21 years old (yes, it is true and now you believe me to be a total Polly Anna) and I wouldn't date someone just so I wasn't dateless. What can I say? It is in your DNA; at your core you are who you are, and while you might fight it and tweek it here and there, ultimately you will always return to your basic values, beliefs and predispostions.
So, I embrace my conservative, obsessive-compulsive, slightly boring, bookish, self and find plenty to laugh and rejoice about in my day to day. And why not write it down for my own amusement... with luck you will find it amusing too.
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