I should not have been surprised, and yet somehow I was. It seems that most of Isabelle's absolutely abysmal behavior (and yes, it can only be described as abysmal) was in large part due to Clay's absence from the home. I mean I knew she missed him. I knew it played a part. But clearly I had no idea how big a part.
Score one for the Daddy's of the world, right? I did not really need proof that fathers played a significant role in their children's lives, but this little experiment did, nonetheless, serve to add weight to their importance. While Clay would be the first to tell you that he is no Mr. Mom, he is a present figure in his daughter's life, home for daily dinners, and around in the evening for some one-on-one time, whether it is a family walk in the neighborhood, some time at the park, or just hanging out in the living room. He does his time reading books, playing trains (or yes, tea party.... a real man can fold himself into those tiny chairs) and come the weekends he always carves out some time with Isabelle. The thing is she doesn't care what they do.... it doesn't matter if they are golfing, washing the car, mowing the lawn, or "monkeying" with something in the garage so long as she is with Daddy. Clay lets her tag along and help, making her feel special and important, a true Daddy's little girl.
So, I guess you could say when Daddy went away the last two weeks Miss Isabelle decided to punish everyone involved. She punished Clay by refusing to talk to him on the phone for probably the first week he was gone, and obviously I turned into her designated punching bag of abuse, the one to take all her frustrations and sadness out on. When I think about it she started acting up as soon as we mentioned Clay was going to be taking a trip, and she knew her precious routine would be shook up.
The contrast this week in her behavior is nothing short of astonishing... a shrink would probably have a field day with it. The tantrums just vanished as well as the yelling and talking back, and the one time when I did put her in time out this week, she calmed down within five minutes, apologized for her behavior, and we went on with our day. Juxtapose that with a week ago when she screamed and kicked for over an hour in time out, resulting in her ultimately making herself vomit and then still refusing to say sorry for her transgression. The last two weeks she has gone around mumbling that she is sad and tired all of the time, and this week she is back to her bouncy self and is once more proclaiming to the general public that she is "so happy." This schizophrenic behavior is a little too much too take and reminds me once more of her back when she was an infant and Clay and I had dubbed her as Good Isabelle and Evil Isabelle, depending on which mood/face she was presenting to us at the time. Is it possible for a three year old to have multiple personalities? Ha, ha!
All joking aside I think it is more indicative of a very sensitive soul, and Isabelle comes by that honestly. I have often been accused of too easily "taking things to heart." Naturally, I would argue that being more sensitive to our surroundings and other people is not necessarily a bad quality or a shortcoming. Some people have always felt the need to tell me to "buck up" and not understand why I react to things so strongly. I happen to think it fantastic that a dog food commercial can bring me to tears, a sunny, windswept day can cause me to laugh out loud, a U.S. Olympian can make me burst with patriotic pride, and one grin from my daughter can make my heart fit to burst. Shouldn't everyone feel so strongly? Doesn't everyone? And if you don't then, I can only say I am sorry. When I was young and in school it was hard to be "overly-sensitive," as I was so often described, because being quick to tear-up was embarrassing at that age. Of course, I will hope to teach Isabelle how to better manage and understand her strong emotions but not to suppress or quell them because they are what gives us our zest for life. They are what makes us human and her sensitivity helps define who she is as a person. She will come to learn that her tears do not compromise her strength, and that having a sensitive soul only opens her heart to even more love. And who wouldn't want that?
1 comment:
You know, my Daddy has always said that most people too often mistake kindness for weakness. He taught me that the two are not mutually exclusive, and you, m'dear, embody that as well.
Isabelle-belle-belle with learn both by your support and by your caring and honest example. Of that you may be sure.
Post a Comment