Key Figures:
Mindy - Domestic, black and white, long haired cat. The epitome of elegance and refinement. Maintains the classic somewhat standoffish character attributed to so many cats. Impeccable grooming, precise habits, and harbors strong fears for vacuums, strangers, and any loud noise. History of an abusive background before being adopted from a local animal shelter.
Nib - Named after one of the lost boys in Peter Pan after being found at the town dump as a kitten. Domestic orange tabby, short hair. Very obese, weighing in at about 20 lbs. Arguably the dumbest cat I have ever encountered, but incredibly loving and affectionate to the point of being obnoxious. Clumsy, lazy, and essentially clueless, but maintains a happy, tolerant attitude.
In the morning:
6-8:30 a.m.
Nib- "Hungry, hungry, hungry. Why is my bowl still empty? Isn't it time to eat? Are they up yet? Oh good, she is up! Feed me, feed me , feed me! Why isn't she feeding me? Am I not loud enough? She is feeding the kid. Come on, what about me? Only fresh water? I am starving here!"
Mindy- "Good Lord, would that stupid imbecile quit with all of the noise? I am still trying to get my beauty sleep here. The fat pig certainly doesn't need to eat anymore. Maybe I can actually get a fresh drink of water now without having to wade through all of his slobber."
8:30-9:30 a.m.
Nib- "Man, I am hungry. Why does she run on that track thing every morning? She always seems so tired after, so why do it? Here comes the kid, look out! Why is she driving that toy on me? Ummmm, that kinda feels good though. Hey, kid, a little to the left, would ya? Oh yeah, that is nice. Here, let me roll over and you can do my belly."
Mindy- (still ensconced in cat bed on rocker in the living room) "Getting a quality rest around here is virtually impossible with all of this racket."
9:30-10:00 a.m.
Nib - "Why anyone would want to get all wet is beyond me, but I do enjoy just lounging here on the bathroom counter. What does a cat gotta do to get some food around here? Wait. Is that a crumb? Nope, looks like a part of the towel. Maybe I should eat it anyway, just in case."
Mindy - "I suppose I should get some breakfast from the dish downstairs. Fortunately, she has sense enough to put that one where the fat boy cannot reach it or I would waste away to nothing. He has no discipline! No class! Why she brought him home I will never know."
In the afternoon:
10:00-5:00 p.m.
Nib - "My bowl is still empty. I better get some rest and conserve my energy." (finds his typical spot under our bed) Was that the can opener I heard? Oh, no, false alarm."
2:00-3:00 p.m.
Mindy - "Finally! The disgrace to the cat world is asleep and so is the child. Now perhaps I can give a little attention to her. She must be missing me. Hello, darling, would you like to pet me? Oh, look, she wants me to sit on her lap. Well, I suppose for a little while it would be alright. Hmmm, this is actually rather pleasant. I might purr. Just a little though and certainly not as loud as SOME cats in this house. One must maintain one's image, after all."
In the evening:
5:30-6:00 p.m.
Nib - "I smell food. They are eating! Maybe if I go downstairs the kid will drop something from her chair!"
Mindy - "I feel simply filthy. I must bathe. One can never be too clean after all, and I distinctly detect that the eight hundredth hair on my back is about one millimeter out of place. Unacceptable."
7:00 p.m.
Nib - DINNER!!!!!!!!!! Yay! FOOD!! Gimme the bowl, gimme the bowl, gimme the bowl. Oh, I love you, I love you , I love you. Thank you, thank you. Yum. Hey, fancy pants, back off. This is my food bowl, and I am hungry. Go groom yourself or something."
Mindy - "Really! How rude! Ah, I see she is taking my dish downstairs. So much the better. One does not wish to eat with the barbarian anyways. Dropping food everywhere and making a mess."
8:00-10:00 p.m.
Nib - "Ahhhhhh, that was good. Burp! I think I will go sprawl out on the floor downstairs and wait for someone to pet me, kick me, whatever. I am not picky. Ooooh! Better yet, her lap looks open. I will just shove that book thing aside and I am in!"
Mindy - (Grooming, again and getting every last possible particle of food off of her whiskers)
10:45-11:00 p.m.
Nib - (Approaching Mindy sitting on the living room floor) "Come on, sweets, I know you want to wrestle a bit. You play hard to get, but you like it. Secretly, you love me." (Nipping around her neck)
Mindy - "Oh please, be off with you, tramp. That's it, now you have forced me to put you in your place!" (Tumbling ensues with a series of take downs by Mindy as Nib gets winded and must lay on the floor, baring his belly and swatting feebly at her when she jumps on him. Mindy does one or two wind sprints up and down the stairs. Nib joins in partially for one before deciding it is too much work and lays back down.) "Oh, my. I feel rather good now. Hopefully, you learned your lesson fat one. Don't mess with a lady! I am off to bathe and hold vigil for a while by the front window while they sleep. You don't bother me and go do.... whatever it is you do."
Nib - "Ah, now, don't be that way. We had fun, didn't we? I think I will go find a spot on the bed. They love me sleeping with them. Just push some legs over and Bam! I got a great spot. Good night, fancy pants."
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